Friday, December 31, 2010
Selamat Tinggal 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Christmas Eve in Eastwood Valley Golf and Country Club
We stayed at Long House and I like this place so much. Inside the Longhouse, there are 4 single beds available. Simple room layout yet very convenience and Budget save.
Christmas Season
I spend only 1 hour there because outside was raining heavily. This christmas season make me think. People out there who don't understand may think, Christmas is associated with the Santa Clause who give out the presents and gifts. If someone think that, it can be very sad. The real meaning of Christmas is not Santa Clause or Christmas Tree at all BUT the Birth of Jesus Christ, the Messiah to the Earth. There is nothing wrong with the display of Santa Clause or Christmas tree during this Christmas season but the if you forget the Christ, then Christmas mean nothing to you and you don't understand the real meaning of Christmas.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Interferon (Roferon, Intron A)
Interferon works in several ways. It interferes with cancer cells and stops them growing and multiplying. And it stimulates the immune system by encouraging killer T cells and other cells to attack cancer cells. It also encourages cancer cells to send out chemicals that attract the immune system cells to them.
Interferon is used to treat several different types of cancer, particularly renal cell (kidney) cancer, malignant melanoma, multiple myeloma and some types of leukaemia. It is also used to treat diseases other than cancer.
Interferon can only be given into the bloodstream or by injection. It is most often given by injection just under the skin (subcutaneously). How often you have it depends on what you are being treated for. It can be given daily, although it is most often given 3 times a week. If you are having interferon for some weeks or months, you can be taught to give the injection yourself at home. Or a family member can learn how to do it. You should keep your interferon in the fridge.
You should tell your doctor if you have
- Shingles or exposure to someone with chickenpox (interferon treatment may make this flare up)
- Heart disease
Common side effects
- Increased risk of getting an infection from a drop in white blood cells - it is harder to fight infections and you can become very ill. You may have headaches, aching muscles, a cough, sore throat, pain passing urine or feel cold and shivery.
- Tiredness and breathlessness due to a drop in red blood cells (anaemia) - you may need a blood transfusion
- Bruising more easily due to a drop in platelets - you may have nosebleeds, bleeding gums after brushing your teeth, or lots of tiny red spots or bruises on your arms or legs (known as Petechia
Other common side effects include
- Fatigue - patients say this is the most disruptive side effect of all. Tiredness often carries on after treatment has ended. Most people find their energy levels are back to normal from 6 months to a year after their treatment finishes.
- Flu-like symptoms: fever, chill, headache, aching muscles and joints. Nearly everyone taking interferon has this side effect at first. It usually gets better as your course of treatment continues. These symptoms usually begin 2 to 4 hours after your injection and last for about 12 hours. Take paracetamol before your injection and every 4 to 6 hours afterwards for as long as you need to. But don't take more than 8 tablets in 24 hours. You can try having your injection and paracetamol before you go to bed to see if that helps.
- Feeling or being sick - this happens to about half the people treated
- Diarrhoea Diarrhoea - you should drink plenty of fluids. If diarrhoea is severe or continues you could get dehydrated, so tell your doctor or nurse.
- Loss of appetite - may increase as your course of treatment goes on. You may also have taste changes or a metallic taste in your mouth
- Interferon may have a harmful effect on a baby developing in the womb. It is not advisable to become pregnant or father a child whilst taking this drug. You should discuss contraception with your doctor before having the treatment.
Occasional side effects
- A skin rash or itching at the injection site
- Hair thinningthis is more likely to happen with long courses or high doses of interferon
- Depression, confusion or extreme sleepiness. This is more common in older patients or people who have had depression before. Tell your doctor if you have these symptoms.
- Change in liver enzyme blood tests. This is usually very mild but your doctor may take regular blood tests to monitor for this.
- Heart problems. These are quite uncommon and nearly always get better when treatment is stopped. You should tell your doctor if you have had heart problems before.
- Loss of appetite
- Loss of fertility- you may not be able to get pregnant or father a child after treatment with this drug. It is important to talk to your doctor about your fertility before starting treatment. Women may stop having periods (amenorrhoea). This may only be temporary.
Important points to remember
- How many times you've had the drug before
- Your general health
- The amount of the drug you have (the dose)
- Other drugs you are having
Some side effects are serious medical conditions and need treating. Where we have urged you to contact your doctor, this is because
- Your side effect may need treating
- Your drug dose may need reducing to try to prevent the side effect
Talk to your doctor, pharmacist or nurse about all your side effects so that they can help you manage them. Your chemotherapy nurse, clinic or ward nurse will have given you a contact number. You can ring if you have any questions or problems. They can give you advice or reassure you. If in doubt, call them.
Source taken from: Cancer research UK at URL : Cancer Research UK
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Picnic with the Kiarong staff
Day before the picnic, I am exciting yet bit anxious also... I know I shouldn't expose much to the sun but i know I can't avoid the sun forever. I put on the Sunblock with SPF 130+ .. and went to the picnic. The food was nice and look 'yummy' but still I can't eat all the food. I ate only the Fried Meehoon and drink the water prepared by the staff. We reached there around 9 30 am and back to ward at 2 pm...
Monday, December 6, 2010
Mental Health and Mental Illness
Teenmentalhealth.org is dedicated to helping improve the mental health of youth by the effective translation and transfer of scientific knowledge.
For those who wants to view more news and information of Mental Health in Brunei, I found an interesting blog at : Mental Health Brunei
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Jeferry Ting & Josephine
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Wedding Sarman & Ruyanti at Cirebon
This is the cake:
Few photos collected during the wedding ceremony...
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Public Holiday - Hari Raya Aidiladha
The Synopsis of the movies:
Megamind is the most brilliant super villain the world has ever known. And the least successful. Over the years, he has tried to conquer Metro City in every imaginable way. Each attempt, a colossal failure thanks to the caped superhero known as "Metro Man," an invincible hero. Megamind decides that the only way out of his rut is to create a new hero opponent called "Tighten," Except Tighten doesn't just want to rule the world, he wants to destroy it.
Megamind must decide: can he defeat his own diabolical creation? Can the world's smartest man make the smart decision for once? Can the evil genius become the unlikely hero of his own story?
Taken from: http://www.empirecinemas.co.uk/index.php?page=synopsis&filmid=2324
Watching movies is not my hobby... but once in a while going to the cinema make me feel fresh, alert and happy... This is few photo that I took while in the mall, Gadong. When I arrived, many of the shops still closed...
Early morning... the mall is quiet since not many people going there.. May be people are still sleeping or busy with some family gathering and religious activity going on here...
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Beauty of Brunei
Indonesia Merapi 2010
Emerito Razon from Angeles City, Pampanga, Philippines
Upload to the internet 4 days ago...
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Dunia yang semakin tua dan hancur
Berita 6 November 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
My Cousin Wedding End of Oktober 2010
Masih menjalani rawatan dengan Intron-A November 2010
Selama saya menjalani rawatan ini, rambut saya bnyk yg luruh tapi ga semuanya dan rambut ku juga menjadi semakin nipis. Kadang, saya mengalami sakit di seluruh badanku dari atas, belakang dan terasa tulang-tulang ngilu akibat dari kesan sampingan Intron-A ini. Saya juga sering demam dan darahku harus sentiasa di ambil untuk di periksa di makmal. Tiap bulan, aku harus rajin mengambil darah dan harus rajin berjumpa dengan doktor ku di Oncology. Kadang, aku rasakan mual ataupun 'nauseated' dan aku juga rasakan kadang apa yang saya makan berubah rasa.
Sekarang adalah waktu yang membuat saya risau kerana Suntikan ku Interferon-A ga ada stock di seluruh Brunei dan pharmacy juga sedang berusaha mencari dan membawa stock Interferone-A ke Brunei. Kadang saya rasa malas dan seperti putus asa untuk meneruskan suntikan ini tapi ini adalah satu-satunya cara rawatan yang ada.. ga ada Pil, ga ada jenis serbuk, ga ada jenis cairan (liquid)... yang ada cuma suntikan yang menyakitkan. Seperti nya saya ga punya pilihan lain melainkan meneruskan suntikan ini.
Walaupun saya harus menjalani rawatan yang menyakitkan ini, kata doktor, ga ada Jaminan 100% jika kanker ku tidak akan kambuh.. Tapi semuanya adalah berserah pada Tuhan saja. Kita manusia cuma dapat merancang tapi semuanya di Tangan-Nya. Semuanya tergantung cara kita berfikir.... dan cara kita menanggapi setiap persoalan yang kita hadapi.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Pengalaman menjalani rawatan di Singapore March 2010
Post ini di buat dan di tulis pada 9 Mac 2010.. tapi belum sempat aku mem-publish di blog ku... waktu aku di Hospital National University Singapore.
Sekali lagi aku terbang ke Singapora buat perubatan Kanker Melanoma ku. Walaupun kata dokter sudah di angkat tetapi menurut perubatan, aku tetap harus berubat lagi selama 1 tahun memakai Ubt yang di namakan Interferon-alpha.. Ubat aku ini di order dari United States of America dan khusus buat saya.
Aku sampai di Singapura tanggal 7 mac 2010 pagi… dari jam 3 petang di sini, aku demam, perut ku kembung dan jam 8 malam, aku muntah dan aku sakit secara fizik. Tapi kemudian sembuh sendiri dari jam 9 malam. Keesokannya, tanggal 8 Mac, 2010 aku ketemu dgn dokter dan darah ku di periksa semua. Aku sihat seperti biasa. Jam 6 petang, demam ku kembali sampai aku di periksa secara berulang dan di buat Chest X’ray lagi dan darah ku di ambil buat Culture & Sensitivity tapi hasilnya semuanya normal… malamnya aku normal lagi… Hari ini, tanggal 9 Mac 2010 aku demam lagi jam 3 petang.. sampai dokter nya bingung juga.. kerana hasil periksa ku semuanya normal.
Tanggal 8hb, FBC ku di check.. dan dokter kata mungkin aku thalaseamis trait dan tanggal 9hb, Iron panel di ambil lagi buat pengesahan sama ada aku thalaseamia trait… Pemeriksaan lain Di Pesakit Luar NUH, Singapore, TFT, LFT, dan calcium di check… Hasilnya, calcium ku rendah juga.. sepertinya semua yang ada badanku semuanya rendah dan kurang… kurang darah, kurang calcium… waktu aku masuk ke Pesakit dalam di First Class wad, aku di Swab H1N1 dan hasilnya juga normal… Malamnya, darahku di ambil lagi buat check Culture & Sensitivity, semuanya juga normal… sekarang dokter juga bingung kenapa aku demam terus.. aku Cuma doa semoga Tuhan yang menyembuhkanku…
Hidup dan tinggal di First Class Wad di NUH ini sangat selesa, semuanya di sediakan.. TV, Menu makan yang berubah setiap hari, Full Room function.. bahkan lebih mewah dari hotel di mana tempat ku tinggal… Perawat nya semuanya baik2 dan sangat ramah. Team rawatan Dokter dan perawat nya sangat baik efisien dan memenuhi standard Nursing dan Medical Care… Aku suka tinggal di sini..
Satu minggu tinggal full time di Ward sangat membosankan kerana aku sendirian di negeri yang asing… Kadang, aku menangis sendiri tapi, aku Cuma berdoa kepada Tuhan berikan aku kekuatan utk hadapi semua ini dan menjalani rawatan ku sehingga habis.
Tiap kali masuk interferon ke dalam badan ku, perawat dan incharge nya masuk ke kamar dan menjaga ku sepanjang interefrone berlangsung selama 2-3 jam. Masuk ubt interferon sangat melelahkan… Kesan nya membuatku sakit… aku menjadi lemah dan mudah jatuh, badanku tidak bertenaga, dan bahkan kalau aku jalan, harus memegang dinding dan pengerakkan ku menjadi lambat. Hampir tiap hari darah ku di ambil… dan di periksa. Sejak masuk interferone ini, aku menjadi hilang selera dan rambut ku juga banyak yang jatuh. Kesan lain yang aku alami adalah seperti seluruh badan ku sakit dan mudah sekali terjangkit kuman.
Saya cuma berharap semuanya akan cepat habis kerana aku tidak mau tinggal di sini lama2… dan pgn cepat pulang ke Brunei di mana ada keluarga, teman dan saudara… pulang ke lingkungan aku sendiri…
Friday, July 16, 2010
Intron A "Interferon Alpha-2b"
I need to regularly seeing my Oncologist (once every two weeks and blood test done prior to appointment). I had no choice and no alternative for other medication and the only treatment for my malignant melanoma is Intron A (Immunotheraphy).
Intron A® (interferon alfa-2b)
Generic name: Interferon alfa
Other trade name: Roferon-A® (interferon alfa-2a)
Other names: Alpha interferon, IFN-alpha
Intron A and Roferon-A are trade names for Interferon alfa. IFN-alpha and Alpha interferon are other names for Interferon alfa. In some cases, health care professionals may use the trade names Intron A and Roferon-A or other names IFN-alpha and Alpha interferon when referring to the generic drug name Interferon alfa.
Drug type: Intron A is a "biologic response modifier." Intron A is classified as a "cytokine." (For more detail, see "How this drug works" section below).
What Intron A is used for:
- Approved for use in hairy cell leukemia, malignant melanoma, AIDS-related Kaposi's sarcoma, follicular non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.
- Other uses: Chronic myelogenous leukemia (CML), renal cell cancer, cervical cancer, carcinoid syndrome, medullary thyroid cancer, multiple myeloma, basal and squamous cell skin cancers, low-grade non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, cutaneous T-cell lymphoma (mycosis fungoides).
- Blood disorders such as: polycythemia vera, essential thrombocytopenia, thrombocytopenia purpura.
Note: If a drug has been approved for one use, physicians sometimes elect to use this same drug for other problems if they believe it might be helpful.
How Intron A is given:
- By injection under the skin (subcutaneous, SubQ)
- By injection through a vein (intravenously, by IV)
- By injection into a muscle (intramuscular, IM)
- There is no pill form of interferon alfa
- Due to differences in dosage, you should not change brands of interferons. Discuss with your doctor or health care professional if there is a problem with supply.
- The amount of interferon alfa you will receive depends on many factors, including your height and weight, your general health or other health problems, and the type of cancer you have. Your doctor will determine your dosage and schedule.
Side effects of Intron A:
Important things to remember about the side effects of Intron A:
- Most people do not experience all of the side effects listed
- Side effects are often predictable in terms of their onset and duration
- Side effects are almost always reversible and will go away after treatment is complete
- There are many options to help minimize or prevent side effects
- There is no relationship between the presence or severity of side effects and the effectiveness of the medication.
- The side effects of interferon alpha and their severity depend on how much of the drug is given. In other words, high doses may produce more severe side effects.
The following side effects are common (occurring in more than 30%) for patients taking Intron A:
- Early: (occurring after the first few doses)
- Flu-like syndrome: Fever, chills, generalized aches and pains, headache, poor appetite. (Over time the intensity of these symptoms decreases depending on the dose, how it is given, and the schedule of administration).
- Later: (occurring beyond one week of therapy)
- Fatigue
- Low blood counts. Your white and red blood cells and platelets may temporarily decrease. This can put you at increased risk for infection, anemia and/or bleeding. Decreases are dose dependent.
Nadir: Meaning low point, nadir is the point in time between chemotherapy cycles in which you experience low blood counts.
Onset: 7-10 days
Nadir: 14 days, may be delayed 20-40 days in hairy cell leukemia
Recovery: 21 days
- Temporary blood test abnormalities: low calcium, high glucose, or high triglyceride levels.
- Increases in blood tests measuring liver function. These return to normal once treatment is discontinued (see liver problems).
- Weight loss
- Hair loss
These are less common side effects (occurring in 10-29%) for patients receiving Intron A:
- Early: (occurring after the first few doses)
- Nausea and vomiting (usually mild).
- Diarrhea (can be severe depending on dosage).
- Low blood pressure (see blood pressure changes).
- Later: (occurring beyond one week of therapy)
- Injection site reaction (redness, pain at site of injection)
- Cough
- Depression
- Dry mouth
- Skin rash (see skin reactions)
- Dizziness, vertigo
- Abdominal pain
- Irritability (see anxiety)
- Numbness or tingling of hands or feet
- Sweating (see skin reactions)
- Pain
- Malaise (see flu-like symptoms)
- Taste changes (metallic taste)
- Constipation
- Sore throat (see mouth sores)
- Insomnia (see sleep disturbances)
- Itching
- Confusion, excessive sleepiness, memory loss - may occur at higher doses (see central neurotoxicity).
- High blood pressure (see blood pressure changes)
- Swelling of feet and ankles (edema)
- Dry skin (see skin reactions)
- Anxiety
Not all side effects are listed above, some that are rare (occurring in less than 10% of patients) are not listed here. However, you should always inform your health care provider if you experience any unusual symptoms.
When to contact your doctor or health care provider:
Contact your health care provider immediately, day or night, if you should experience any of the following symptoms:
- Shortness of breath, chest pain, rapid heart beat
- Depressed or have any thoughts of hurting yourself or others
The following symptoms require medical attention, but are not emergency situations. Contact your health care provider within 24 hours of noticing any of the following:
- Diarrhea (more than 4 to 6 episodes in a 24-hour period)
- Nausea that interferes with eating and is not relieved by prescribed medications
- Vomiting (more than 4 to 5 episodes within a 24-hour period)
- Unusual bleeding or bruising
- Black or tarry stools, or blood in your stools or urine
- Extreme fatigue (unable to perform self-care activities)
- Persistent fever (fever lasting/occurring beyond expected timeframe for dose and schedule).
- Anxiety, changes in thinking or mood, confusion, difficulty concentrating or trouble sleeping.
- Swelling of the feet or ankles, sudden weight gain
Always inform your health care provider if you experience any unusual symptoms.
Precautions:
- Before starting interferon alpha treatment, make sure you tell your doctor about any other medications you are taking (including prescription, over-the-counter, vitamins, herbal remedies, etc.). Do not take aspirin, products containing aspirin unless your doctor specifically permits this.
- Do not receive any kind of immunization or vaccination without your doctor's approval while taking interferon alpha.
- Due to differences in dosage, you should not change brands of interferons. Discuss with your doctor or health care professional if there is a problem with supply.
- Interferon alfa may cause patients to develop mood or behavioral problems. Make sure to tell your doctor if you are being treated for a mental illness or had treatment in the past for any mental illness, including depression and suicidal behavior. You should also tell your doctor if you have ever been addicted to drugs or alcohol.
- Inform your health care professional if you are pregnant or may be pregnant prior to starting this treatment. Pregnancy category C (use in pregnancy only when benefit to the mother outweighs risk to the fetus).
- For both men and women: Do not conceive a child (get pregnant) while taking interferon alfa. Barrier methods of contraception, such as condoms, are recommended. Discuss with your doctor when you may safely become pregnant or conceive a child after therapy.
- Do not breast feed while taking this medication.
Self-care tips:
- Drink at least two to three quarts of fluid every 24 hours (unless you are instructed otherwise), to keep yourself well hydrated throughout therapy.
- Wash your hands often.
- You may be at risk of infection so try to avoid crowds or people with colds or not feeling well, and report fever or any other signs of infection immediately to your health care provider.
- For flu-like symptoms, keep warm with blankets and drink plenty of liquids. There are medications that can help reduce the discomfort caused by chills.
- Acetaminophen or ibuprophen may help relieve discomfort from fever, headache and/or generalized aches and pains. However, be sure to talk with your doctor before taking it.
- To reduce nausea, take anti-nausea medications as prescribed by your doctor, and eat small, frequent meals.
- Avoid sun exposure. Wear SPF 15 (or higher) sunblock and protective clothing.
- In general, drinking alcoholic beverages should be kept to a minimum or avoided completely. You should discuss this with your doctor.
- You may experience drowsiness or dizziness; avoid driving or engaging in tasks that require alertness until your response to this drug is known.
- Conserve energy, try to get plenty of rest.
- Maintain good nutrition.
- If you experience symptoms or side effects, be sure to discuss them with your health care team. They can prescribe medications and/or offer other suggestions that are effective in managing such problems.
Monitoring and testing:
- You will be checked regularly by your healthcare professional while you are taking interferon alfa, to monitor side effects and check your response to therapy. Periodic blood work to monitor your complete blood count (CBC) as well as the function of other organs (such as your kidneys and liver) will also be ordered by your doctor.
- Your thyroid gland may also be affected by this medication. Your healthcare professional may order a blood test periodically to assess your thyroid function.
How Intron A works:
Interferon alfa belongs to the category of therapies called biologic response modifiers (BRM), also called immunotherapy. This is a type of treatment that mobilizes the body's immune system to fight cancer. The therapy mainly consists of stimulating the immune system to help it do its job more effectively.
Interferon alfa is part of a family of proteins called cytokines. Cytokines act primarily by communicating between the various cells of the body's immune system.
Interferon alfa interacts with receptors on the surface of cells. There are several ways that interferon alfa fights cancer; directly by interfering with the cancer cells ability to divide, and indirectly by modifying the bodies response to the cancer cells.
http://www.chemocare.com/bio/intron_a.aspTuesday, July 13, 2010
Teratak Anna Abadi
Di atas permintaan beliau sendiri:
Pesanan anna…tutuplah hompej anna. ..tutuplah blog anna…tutuplah Teratak dan segala-gala perkara yg melibatkan anna di internet. Buanglah semua gambar-gambar anna yg tersimpan di chamber rahsia yg hanya diketahui teman-teman rapat. Buanglah puisi-puisi anna kerana anna tidak mahu kawan-kawan anna bersedih dgn apa yg anna tinggal. Hilangkan semua jejak anna di alam maya yang tidak bertepi ini. Mereka tahu password anna. Password anna hanya satu utk semua perkara. Anna tidak pernah mengubahnya sejak pertama kali anna mengenali apa itu password di alam maya. Password itu tetap sama dan ada makna tersendiri. Mereka adalah kawan-kawan anna yang anna percayai dan anna tahu mereka tidak akan mengecewakan permintaan anna.
Anna tidak mahu website anna tergantung-gantung di maya selepas ketiadaan anna. Anna telah banyak melihat website dan blog yang ditinggalkan sepi oleh pemiliknya yang sudah kembali kepada Tuhannya. Dan tahun ini saja sudah ada 2 teman blog anna yg deceased. Salah satunya blog teman blogger anna, misznana yg telah kembali ke rahmatullah. Blognya tergantung begitu saja tanpa ada sesiapa menutupnya.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
My Workplace
Working in the new environment is quite different and tiring but I know this is only temporary and the period of transition... from old system to a new system. The doctors do not have their own room here... we are lacking of rooms for the doctor to sit and consult the patient. For the Outpatient services, there are only 4 rooms for the doctors (including the room of our HOD).
This is the outside environment where I work and spend most of my time...
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Kehidupan
Dulu ada orang berkata kepadaku begini: ... "kalau lapar, makan... kalau sakit, berubat..." hidup cuma simple dan ga se-complicated.... Tapi aku sendiri merasakan.. hidup bukan cuma itu saja... Tapi orang itu juga telah pergi dari hidupku buat selamanya... Mungkin hidupnya cuma sesimple itu makanya dia katakan kepadaku.
Suatu saat dulu... aku tidak pernah menghargai orang yang ada di sekelilingku... sehinggalah mereka menghilang dan pergi dari hidupku satu demi satu. Ternyata hidup ini tidak ada yang kekal... semuanya sementara... Kesihatan, kekayaan, kecantikan, percintaan... semuanya bersifat sementara...
Sudah lama aku tidak mengarang dan menulis... Dulu, aku sering menulis dan mengarang tapi kerana kesibukan, aku hampir melupakan hobiku ini. Semenjak aku mendapat Penyakit Kanker ganas ini, aku semakin menghargai hidup ini dan membuatku banyak berfikir. Aku tidak pernah kalah dengan penyakit kanker ini... walaupun aku sudah di operasi 3 kali sejak dulu dan sekarang masih lagi sibuk berubat.. Kerana dari awal lagi, aku udah tau kehidupan ini tidak akan selamanya.
Dulu, ada seseorang yang sangat menyakitkan dan mengecewakan hatiku.. tapi aku sangat berterima kasih kepadanya kerana membuatku sedar kerana dalam kehidupan ini, kita tidak boleh menyandarkan kepada manusia... Manusia bisa berubah-rubah. Dan kata cinta semuanya adalah dusta. Aku cuma berharap dan berdoa kepada Tuhan agar Dia tidak membalas apa yang telah dia lakukan kepadaku...
Aku ingin seperti rajawali.. semakin badai menerpa ... dia terbang semakin tinggi dan tidak pernah mengenal erti berputus asa.