Pre Surgery and Treatment

Hhhmm.. since I know my Melanoma metastasis and recurrent, I havent drop even 1 tear.. why? Am i weird? or what? Am i denial? Am i abnormal? I guess so.. I dont know. I just dont want to think about it. I know God had given me more strength to move on this life. The main reason why I dont cry is: I had mentally prepare and if i cry.. that is useless and cant change the situation. Eventhough if i dont get through... I will still be ready and I know... God is there for me... What i need now is .. to go through each treatment and Pray.. and mentally ready for the next fight.


Thank God.. my Bf had been so supportive in term of psychological and mentally although he is far now. It doesn;t really matter coz he had showed me His real person... which is not easy. I know that he is sad and he cried for me but I wil just always smile to him and never drop my tears again in front of him. I just pray that God will open and show him the right way and path..

Thank God too I havent got married till now or having any children. But I promised if I cure.. I will married in 2014... that is my promised to myself. In order to do that.. I need to fight till the end... and live my life with joy....." sadness.. hopeless and depressed is not a solution!!!!!!" and it only worsen situation.......